The Visit - April 2013

From January 2013 until - Grand Canyon University had been on my mind...as well as a potential move.  Actually, a big move (like I've mentioned before) had been on my mind for several years.  And for whatever reason, which I honestly don't recall, I very quickly thought that a trip to Arizona to actually see GCU and what Phoenix had to offer would be appropriate.  This decision to visit was a very quick one - and would potentially be a risk, financially.  So, I called my dad.

Now if you know me well, you know that at times I have had a hard time talking with my dad about such issues.  I do not say this to be disrespectful to my father - I love my father and honestly have an utmost respect for him.  However, at times, I've been scared that we may not see eye-to-eye on such matters and he, like myself (lol), is willing to speak his mind and communicate his disagreements.  I HATE it when we disagree (hahahaha) - all I've ever wanted to do is make him proud of me.....not make him disappointed or to make life choices that he disagrees with!!

So why did I call my dad?  I have no idea!  hahaha  BUT - it was the best phone call ever!!  He listened so well (I mean ACTIVELY), and was very in tune to what I was saying and trying to get across.  I simply told him that I knew it was crazy, but I was thinking of taking a quick trip to Arizona to "feel it out" and check out GCU.  I also told him that even though I could complete the whole post-graduate program online, I was considering a move and AZ might would be something to think about and look into.  And finally, I told him if I chose to take this trip (on my spring break, by the way), it would potentially be a financial risk.

I actually wanted his opinion on this matter - the financial risk part.  And I don't want to get too personal here on the web, especially about my father, but as a farmer, my daddy is very much aware and experienced with financial risks.  His advice:  "Court - it's just how you said it, it's a risk.  Now sometimes you dwell and dwell and dwell on the decision you have to make and you finally make it, and things don't turn out quite how you wanted them to.  But other times - other times, such good things can come from it.  It's just a risk - and we all take them at some point in our lives."  I had a hard time putting that in quotation marks, because honestly - that's not EXACTLY what he said - but it was daggone close!!  And I so appreciated his advice and the time he spent with me on the phone that afternoon.  And I told him, "I'm booking my flight when I get home, daddy."  And he said, "okay."

So I booked the flight, the hotel, and the rental car about four days before my scheduled time to leave.  And that's how my spring break would be spent - a visit to Arizona!

The Visit:

So now that you all know that I'm actually here - in Arizona, I bet that most of you are already thinking, "Yeah.....her visit must have been really great!!"  hehe - boy do I have you fooled!!  It was actually NOT that great!  lol  I can honestly say that I have never been so overwhelmed and emotional.  haha

I chalk this up to a couple of things:

1)  I flew to Arizona - alone - lol

2)  I rented a car in Arizona - alone - hehe

3)  I booked a hotel close to the airport in Phoenix (BIG no-no.......I know this now...haha)

4)  Phoenix is LARGE......

5)  Phoenix is very different than Eastern NC....haha

6)  The people in Phoenix are very different than those in Eastern NC - haha

and one of the biggest - 

7)  I was allowing myself for the first time, to truly accept the possibility of new goals and dreams for myself.

and probably one more - 

8)  the following story:

So yes, I was overwhelmed with sketchy down-town Phonenix (or at least where I was booked to stay), and exhausted from the plane flight, the car rental, and Phoenix in general - but my very first visit to GCU was very emotionally overwhelming......

I visited GCU the very first morning I was there.  I had gotten to Phoenix the afternoon prior to only yet experience the rather ghetto parts of the city, but decided GCU would be my first visit.  That was, in fact, the main reason for the mini-vacay.  Well GCU also happens to be in the ghetto.....lol.  Whatever the case, GCU was wonderful!!!  I loved the campus, the people, the christian band playing in the room next door - it was truly wonderful!!

But the first thing that was said to me as I sat down with a post-graduate recruiter, "Okay, let's get you a job," as she opened up her laptop.  "Ummm, wow.  Well, actually I was mainly interested in getting to know more about GCU and the doctoral program at this time," I mused.  "Oh of course!  But you have to pay for this education.  So, let's get you a job!  Work for GCU and they will possibly pay up to 100% of your tuition.  And you're here, so maybe we can go ahead and get you scheduled for an interview."

Now THIS.......was overwhelming....

"Ma'am, I don't have dress clothes for an interview, nor do I have my resume with me.  I'm not sure I'm prepared to interview for a job on this trip."  Again, I mused.  "Oh, well there's a Ross right around the corner - you can get you great clothes for great prices!  And I'm sure you can get someone to email you your resume!"  I was NOT getting out of this one.....clearly.

Whatever the case, when I walked away from my little meeting with this very kind lady, I walked straight to my car (luckily parked in a parking garage out of the sun), crawled in....to the backseat (it was a mustang convertible by the way) and curled up into a little ball.  I stayed there, paralyzed and unable to move (don't worry, the windows were down and there was a nice breeze) for a good 20 min.  I was overwhelmed!!!  She wants me to move HERE?!?  Yeah right........!  I can't breath......I feel like I'm gonna be sick...I AM sick.....  And I finally got my composure together enough to make it back to my ghetto hotel - to sleep - for three hours!!!

I was NOT about to "interview" for some job here in Phoenix!  No Way!!  She must be crazy!  And for the rest of my short stay - I attempted to get out and explore some of the "better" parts of Phoenix - you know....little places that would make me feel close to home:  Starbucks, Target, Chic-Fil-A....haha.  I still felt sick, though.  I even called mom and dad and made sure they knew that I did not think I could live here....

Over the next few days, I did come across some cool places and was able to come back with some good things to say.  But this was still a very emotional trip for me.  One that I would never forget.  And although I was not thinking I could live here, I did pick me up a Pandora bead to represent AZ (a sun) to help me remember my short visit to this very different place.  This is not my Pandora bracelet, by the way - just a picture to show you the sun bead.

So, now that I'm here, I'm sure you're wondering, "Why??"